Tag Archives: psychologists bergen county nj

Domestic Abuse

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Domestic Violence

The American Association of Marriage and Family therapy declares that over 20% of American families experience some sort of violence within their household. Domestic violence is more common in younger couples than in older ones. Physical abuse can be classifies as pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping or otherwise assaulting one another. Sadly, domestic violence is becoming increasingly common. Many couples also experience emotional abuse within their relationships. Examples of emotional abuse within relationships include controlling behaviors, verbal threats, or insulting remarks. Even with the most insignificant abusive incident, couples should always seek counseling. Many couples believe pushing or shoving is not abusive and they believe it will end as soon as a particular stressor is removed from their lives. However, life is never without stress and thus many of these violent acts do not cease but rather intensify and grow more dangerous.

In relationships where one partner exhibits controlling behavior the relationship is considered abusive. A controlling husband for example may verbally threaten his wife into social isolation. Forcing her to stay home and break any friendships she has outside of the marriage. A controlling spouse may financially abuse his r her partner by giving them an allowance and denying them money. Thus, they become completely dependent on the abusive spouse.

We can help you if you believe you are in an abusive relationship. For couples interested in taking steps towards ending the violence in their household and continuing their relationship, marriage therapy can be the answer. Marriage counselors, marriage therapists, family counselors, and family therapists come up with strategies and give couples the tools they need to take violence out of their lives completely.

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When is it Time for Marriage Counseling

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When is it Time for Marriage Counseling?

Couples should seek marriage counseling as soon as possible in order to relieve marital tension. The faster a couple seeks counseling the more successful the therapy will be. By taking part in marriage therapy couples will be given the opportunity to talk about their issues and avoid any of the unfortunate consequences that may result from ending their relationship.

Intimacy Problems:

Intimacy is usually thought only as sexual activity and nothing else. This conception of the term is incorrect. Intimacy may include love, respect, communication, kindness, unselfishness, and emotional and physical closeness. More physical aspects of intimacy that are nonsexual may involve sitting next to each other, holding hands, hugging, kidding cuddling, etc. When there are sexual problems (little or no sex) then sexual problems become 90% of the issues within the marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Infidelity:

Infidelity can be defined as martial disloyalty, adultery, unfaithfulness, betrayal, or a breach of trust. The causes of infidelity can be varied and complex. It does not matter whether a couple is in a happy or troubled marriage; affairs can happen in both. The spouse involved in the affair may not be getting enough from his or her marriage, but they can very well not be giving enough. Reasons for infidelity are derived from low self-esteem, relationship problems, or lack of emotional connection. A new type of  infidelity has become more common where people who never intended to be unfaithful, are inadvertently crossing boundaries from platonic friendships into romantic relationships. Being platonic friends means having a relationship that is purely spiritual and free from sensual desire between two persons of the opposite sex. Platonic friendships that become sexualized are increasingly common in in the work environment or internet chatting.

Once infidelity is discovered, signs of depression including suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and a powerful sense of loss and betrayal emerge. Reactions of a souse who has just been betrayed strongly resemble those of one who is suffering from symptoms of post-trauma stress disorder. The most severely traumatized are those who were most trusting and the least suspicious.

Initially what needs to be established in marriage therapy when regarding infidelity is whether the marriage is going to survive. The couple needs to decide whether or not to stay married, or to constructively find a way to separate. An important thing to note is that recovery cannot begin until connection with the affair partner is completely over. This means to completely stop talking to or meeting with this person, let alone the physical contact. If the affair partner is a business co-worker all interaction must be strictly business oriented. Signs of healing and recover will reveal itself through three distinct ways:

1) The marriage will be stronger and more couple oriented rather then child oriented.

2) The weaknesses and vulnerabilities are understood and are confronted as they occur.

3) The couple will have developed trust and commitment, empathy for one another, and a shared responsibility for change.

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How Marriage Therapy Helps

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How Marriage Therapy Helps

Marriage Therapy is conducted by a licensed psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist, or counselor, The focus of marriage therapy is not on the couple’s relationship. It marriage counseling each partner has the opportunity to express his or her feelings in an accepting and non judgmental environment.

Creating a Safe Atmosphere in Marriage Therapy:

In marriage and couples counseling the therapist can help guide you and your partner along the path toward building a safe and responsive connection.It aims to help you identify repetitive negative behavioral patterns, and the feelings that underlie them. The therapist provides a safe atmosphere which enables each partner express those feelings and which facilitates listening and acceptance between partners. The therapist’s role is to help the couple learn how they have become stuck and unable to make the right connection to enable the couple to progress together, and how they can build on their own resources to reconnect. The therapist is also trained to help couples with special issues including anxiety, aggression, substance abuse, infidelity, depression, sexual issues and parenting concerns.

Relationship therapy requires that each person examine his or her own behavior and realize how it positively and negatively affects the relationship. In relationship counseling the focus of the counseling is on the relationship; the relationship is the patient.  To achieve this goal, it is often helpful to meet with each partner individually.Just as individual dance instruction might be necessary in order to help a couple dance more effectively together.

In marriage or relationship counseling a lot of attention is paid to how each party responds to the various issues they are facing. There is no right or wrong way to respond; there are just different ways of responding. Some of them, however, are more effective than others. Some work for the relationship and some do not. These are all issues to examine during the counseling sessions.

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About Us

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About Us

Bergen Marriage counseling is a private mental health and chemical dependency practice which has been serving the metropolitan New York area, including Manhattan and Bergen County, New Jersey, for over 25 years. Our Health care professionals include licensed psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, clinical social workers, and counselors with expertise in marriage, family, adults, teens, children, hypnosis and substance abuse. We are dedicated to providing quality, goal oriented care tailored to your individual needs by matching the treatment to the patient, not the patient to the treatment. Bergen Marriage Counseling provides warm, highly qualified psychotherapists will ensure that you receive individuated care in a comfortable, confidential setting. We aim to foster healthy, satisfying relationships, communication, self-esteem, and problem-solving skills that will enhance an individual’s quality of life.

Bergen Marriage Counseling has private offices located in Manhattan, NY, Paramus, NJ and Englewood, NJ. We provide our patients with convenient daytime, evening, and weekend hours.

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