In some instances a spouse is unable to get a job creating tension within the marriage regarding financial matters and responsibility to the household. When one partner is unable to work resentment and guilt are often the result. The unemployed partner can develop feelings of worthlessness because he or she can not provide for their family or spouse.
The Stay at Home Parent
When one spouse in the relationship does not work there is often increased pressure and tension within the relationship. A stay at home partner is expected to handle all tension within the relationship. A stay at home partner is expected to handle all household endeavors and family issues. Because the domestic partner has no other job besides household duties the working partner takes this for granted. What the working partner sometimes does not comprehend is that household duties and family issues are a twenty four hour job with very little rest, praise, or reward. It is a job that often goes unnoticed by the working partner and the family. When there is little thanks, resentment and frustration can build within a marriage. This causes tension and marital dissatisfaction.
The American Association of Marriage and Family therapy declares that over 20% of American families experience some sort of violence within their household. Domestic violence is more common in younger couples than in older ones. Physical abuse can be classifies as pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping or otherwise assaulting one another. Sadly, domestic violence is becoming increasingly common. Many couples also experience emotional abuse within their relationships. Examples of emotional abuse within relationships include controlling behaviors, verbal threats, or insulting remarks. Even with the most insignificant abusive incident, couples should always seek counseling. Many couples believe pushing or shoving is not abusive and they believe it will end as soon as a particular stressor is removed from their lives. However, life is never without stress and thus many of these violent acts do not cease but rather intensify and grow more dangerous.
In relationships where one partner exhibits controlling behavior the relationship is considered abusive. A controlling husband for example may verbally threaten his wife into social isolation. Forcing her to stay home and break any friendships she has outside of the marriage. A controlling spouse may financially abuse his r her partner by giving them an allowance and denying them money. Thus, they become completely dependent on the abusive spouse.
We can help you if you believe you are in an abusive relationship. For couples interested in taking steps towards ending the violence in their household and continuing their relationship, marriage therapy can be the answer. Marriage counselors, marriage therapists, family counselors, and family therapists come up with strategies and give couples the tools they need to take violence out of their lives completely.
Marriage Therapy is conducted by a licensed psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist, or counselor, The focus of marriage therapy is not on the couple’s relationship. It marriage counseling each partner has the opportunity to express his or her feelings in an accepting and non judgmental environment.
Creating a Safe Atmosphere in Marriage Therapy:
In marriage and couples counseling the therapist can help guide you and your partner along the path toward building a safe and responsive connection.It aims to help you identify repetitive negative behavioral patterns, and the feelings that underlie them. The therapist provides a safe atmosphere which enables each partner express those feelings and which facilitates listening and acceptance between partners. The therapist’s role is to help the couple learn how they have become stuck and unable to make the right connection to enable the couple to progress together, and how they can build on their own resources to reconnect. The therapist is also trained to help couples with special issues including anxiety, aggression, substance abuse, infidelity, depression, sexual issues and parenting concerns.
Relationship therapy requires that each person examine his or her own behavior and realize how it positively and negatively affects the relationship. In relationship counseling the focus of the counseling is on the relationship; the relationship is the patient. To achieve this goal, it is often helpful to meet with each partner individually.Just as individual dance instruction might be necessary in order to help a couple dance more effectively together.
In marriage or relationship counseling a lot of attention is paid to how each party responds to the various issues they are facing. There is no right or wrong way to respond; there are just different ways of responding. Some of them, however, are more effective than others. Some work for the relationship and some do not. These are all issues to examine during the counseling sessions.
